“Life is a crap game, two bits a shot. When you’re cold, you’re cold and when you’re hot, you’re hot.”
I am definitely feeling on the down side this afternoon. I’ve been re-reading Rita Mae Brown’s novel Loose Lips (the quote above is from page 144) and while I have never been much interested in craps or dice, this little folk saying speaks volume to me at the moment. I slept for about 16 hours, then woke up with no spark, no energy. Feeling just totally blah. Ron is watching some show on some channel and I looked up and saw some restaurant cook stacking up chicken patties, sliced beef and other things into a huge tall sandwich. And my stomach turned and I thought to myself, ’yech’.
Everything is driving me batty today it seems. I was on Facebook and trying to type a reply to some comment thread or another. So a little chat box pops up at the bottom of the screen. This is mildly annoying but I just ignored it and continued to type. Then the screen scrolls, I am at the top of the page and no obvious means of returning to the sentence I was literally in the middle of composing. I tell you, it took great restraint to refrain from hurling my laptop at the wall. I did close the Facebook tab and have resolved not to use that site again today. Honestly, if I keep running into frustrations it may prove necessary to crawl into bed with a book and pull the covers up over my eyes.
If I am not mistaken, when I press Publish in a few minutes, writing this little blog post will keep me on my post every calendar day schedule. And in my heart, I know that at least is something to be proud of. But my inner editor looks at these three paragraphs of not terribly clever thoughts, that are really just a glimpse of the pain I feel today and thinks that none of this is really worth reading.
That is definitely something to be proud of, Alan. I’m not managing it, myself – but then, I knew better than to ever say I WOULD.
Holly, I do seem to have found a way to force myself to crank out at least some kind of post every day. I don’t promote every post though, and honestly have been somewhat lax about replying to comments. I don’t kid myself that some of these riffs on thoughts and feelings are as substantive as a real blog post. Yet I find that even with out promotion some of my friends do come in and read whatever I wrote. So it is some kind of real communication and I will go on being a little proud of myself for writing every day. Even as I struggle to write better posts and promote and the really do the blog thing rather than just go through the motions every day.